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i have been told alot and called alot lately. and to be honest im very irritated. whether it be a pet name a joke how be it. it irritates me. i feel i have no control over my life anymore everyone is just telling me who to be what to eat. what to say and what to do. im sick of it and i dont know how to stop it. one person keeps publically saying things about me whether she doesnt know i can see it, thinks im too dumb to register its about me or is attacking me cause she knows i can see it. i dont know but its killing me. im slowly loosing grip here and to be honest im waiting for my heart to snap and just explode on the next joke about how stupid i am.normally im a good sport about the jokes i have moments i get that but if you actually give me a Minuit or two i have my own opinions and thoughts.

i really just dont know what to do everything is falling yet again i cant keep anything together im dead inside to best describe it. i want my friends back i want my heart intact and i want adyson back. im tired of being the blonde bitch walkign around i have the bitch exterior because im am made fun of constantly. literally. im to the point where my phone can just get run over by a semi truck. filled with spiders. and see how many people really need me will find a way to get to me. i have insecurities granted everyone does but when yours are tested every day twenty times a day you get exhausted.

im tired of being me im tired of ruining everything and everyone and im tired of being this pathetic week person. i really need to escape for a few days and get away. i hate being in this position and i wish so badly for it to go away. i really dont want to snap on the people i love but im getting to the end of my rope.