this ....is long you dont have to read

When it all started i was not fully prepared for the that was inevitable. i wanted out more than anything in the world. it was clear i was not welcome so why did i stay. This was constantly going through my head. After a long time i gave up, and stopped trying to belong, and i made it through the year and summer with some friends by my side.

The next year rolled around, my final year. i guess i never felt i belonged after i gave up, not until at grad anyway. one of my fellow student who ive become semi close to recently made a speech the words were "whether you’ve been here since the beginning or just transferred you are gradding as a mountain eagle." those words hit me very heard. as i looked around i saw my last two years flash past my eyes, the memories, the friends, and the future ahead of us. it was then i realized that this was possibly going to be the hardest good bye for me. i realized that this was my future that i had to stop worrying about my past, i don’t think i realized anything so hard hitting in my life. the last week of school was really hard and many of my friends don’t understand why it was so hard when i was there for only two years but those two years meant more to me than my previous years anywhere else.

The people that surrounded me in that room saw me grow and helped me discover my real friends and who i really was. i never believed anyone when they said the last year goes by fast until the last month. i really don’t think that it has fully sunk in yet either. there are still many times i feel like i don’t belong, but i listen to that certain song or see all those photos and think how many memories i made in this year alone and how many more i can make in the years to come. and i feel like i was made to be here although the journey hurt i think im home.

i had a friends write something about me saying " you turned my world upside down and showed me things i never thought id see" i could see that i have really influenced this person in more ways than i ever imagined. i try to be the person any one can go to. the person you could trust your life with, maybe even the rock that keeps you grounded. i keep thinking that this is the end but it really really isn’t, its just the next chapter in the book. i may loose people every chapter maybe even page but maybe its not meant to be if they are willing to leave that easily.

i have many decisions to make and roads to take and i am confident that my true friends will be there standing right beside me ready to dive with me, no matter how far away. i love them to death and they have turned into family for me so please i hope they stay... thank you for reading this ridiculously long message ...love forever ady :)